Mommy groups: The case for and against

Mommy groups: The case for and against

I just joined my first mommy group.  I’ve been tempted to join one many times over the past 4 years of being a mom, but never had the courage.  I have made several mom friends from library groups and daycare and I cherish these friendships, but they are hard work.  Being a part of a mommy group sounds like the best of both worlds; meet up with other moms and kids regularly without having to make the plans or feel guilty about saying no.  Since I have been a part of my mommy group, I’ve started to notice the positives and not so positives about this type of social group.

  • Positive: Easy banter about the children.  Everyone likes to chit chat about kids every once in awhile.  You need someone to share your child’s potty accomplishments (hopefully without posting it all over facebook), discuss the best type of bottle nipples, or lament over your kid’s obsession with easter egg videos (yes, this is a thing and yes, it’s as strange as it sounds).
  • Negative: Most of the talk is about kids.  We need to talk about ourselves sometimes, too.  Most of the moms in the mommy group join to interact as moms and talk about the children.  Unfortunately, this means the mom group won’t replace your weekly rant to your BFF (not that it’s a date I would skip).

 

  • Positive: Social interaction for your kids.  Your kids will get to know the other children.  If the mommy group is within your school district, it will allow your kids to meet and interact with their future classmates.
  • Negative: You have to hang out with all the kids.  Some kids are not ideal playmates for your kid.  They could come from a household with different rules or they could just not mesh well with your child.  When you are a part of a mom group, you cannot chose which members participate in hangouts and there may be some kids you aren’t particularly fond of.

 

  • Positive: Other moms will be impressed you are working/going to school/etc while raising your kids.  Mom groups tend to attract stay at home moms.  I personally think stay at home moms are superheroes (I barely made it through maternity leave with my sanity) and many stay at home moms think the same about working moms.  There is usually a mutual respect and understanding. That being said…
  • Negative: Some moms may not understand why you choose to work or go to school.  Everyone wants to believe they are doing the right thing  for their children and I would hope most moms are doing the best thing for their family.  But the right thing is not the same for every family and sometimes people forget that.

Are you a part of a mommy group?  What were your reasons for joining and does it meet your expectations?

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